The sound woke him. Familiar yet out of context. Rolling over, he grimaced, still half-asleep, wondering when the walls had become so thin.
The crying baby sounded as if it was right across the room.
He buried his face in the pillow and dozed, trying to ignore the crying, but it slowly became impossible. As memories began to drift back into his waking mind, Angel smiled and decided being awake was more enjoyable than sleep.
Blindly reaching out, he frowned at finding the bed empty and blinked open his eyes. It took him a minute, but he jerked in surprise at finding himself in a strange bedroom. Shoving himself up, he let his eyes dart around the dark and richly appointed room, noting the expensive furnishings and paintings, the velvet curtains and bed hangings. The bed itself was massive, carved from gleaming mahogany.
Dimly he noted the baby had stopped crying, but his attention was focused on finding out where the hell he was.
Angel slipped from the bed and, discovering he was nude, reached for a pair of black trousers and a ruby red silk shirt that were draped over a chair. Dressing quickly, he slipped his feet into shoes that fit like a glove but which he had never seen, and walked silently to the closed door, passing a marble tiled bathroom.
Carefully opening the door, he peered out into a sitting room lit only by a soft lamp beneath a green and red striped shade next to another door. As he started across the room towards the light a third door opened and a surprising figure entered the room. In her arms and pulling on her hair was a baby.
"Willow?"
"There you are," she snapped, eyes flashing up at him even as she cooed at the baby. "Were you just planning to let him cry until his tenth birthday?" Marching across the room, she held out the baby to him. "Well?"
"Uh...Willow?"
"Geez, Angel, wake up."
The baby held out its chubby arms to him and Angel took an immediate step backwards.
"Where's Buffy?"
"Meeting with Giles." She said it as if he should have known, and he just grew more confused.
"Willow, what's going on?" Willow frowned and drew the squirming baby back against her chest. "What do you mean?"
"I mean...Where are we? What's going on? Why are you holding a baby?"
The frown turned into stunned gaping. "Angel...Do you know who I am?"
"Yes, Willow, I said that already," he replied impatiently. "But I don't know where we are or..."
"Oh shit!"
The shocked look on Angel's face at her swearing made sweat break out between her shoulder blades. "Here, hold Conor. I'll be right back." She shoved the baby into his hands before he could stop her and ran out the door next to the lamp.
Angel stared in horror at the baby who drooled down his chin and smiled showing two front teeth. "What the hel...heck is going on?" he murmured to himself, then clutched the baby close as he started to wriggle.
The door burst open again and he looked up to find a very familiar figure wearing only low-cut, vintage jeans with holes in the knees, glaring at him.
"You woke me up to show me the git holding his kid?"
"SPIKE?"
The baby started to cry at the harshness of Angel's tone and he automatically made soothing noises and stroked its back.
"Good going, peaches," Spike snickered.
"Spike, shut up. Something's really wrong," Willow hissed, pushing past him into the room. "He doesn't remember."
"Remembered me right enough."
"I had hoped you were crippled for eternity, but I see you're up and around again."
The look of hurt on Spike's face surprised Angel as much as his presence, but the confusion just grew when he saw Willow slide her hand gently down Spike's arm to take his hand.
"Willow," Angel swallowed hard. "What..."
"What do you remember, Angel? What was the last thing you remember before waking up?" she asked softly, her voice breaking in the middle of the second question.
"It was Buffy's birthday. We'd escaped from the warehouse and Spike and Dru and the Judge and made it through the rain to my apartment and we..." He broke off, flustered by nearly revealing the intimate acts he and Buffy had shared.
"Yeah, we know. You bedded the bird and bye..."
"Spike," Willow interrupted sharply, her eyes locked on Angel's. "Angel, you really don't remember what happened next?"
He shook his head. "No." His eyes fell to the locked hands of the innocent hacker and the worst monster he'd ever created and he shook his head harder. "Willow? Why are you holding Spike's hand?"
"Oh great! Amnesiac sire, all I need," Spike started to rant, then his eyes widened and he dashed forward to snatch the baby away, quickly examining it for bite marks. "Shit!" Passing the baby to a startled Willow, he shoved her behind him. "Get out, Willow, now!"
"Huh?"
"He doesn't remember," Spike yelled, rising to the balls of his feet and fisting his hands, body readying for a fight he knew he couldn't win.
"But...oh god..."
"Daddy's gone," came a wail from the doorway. "Buried, screaming to get out." Tears ravaging her face, Drusilla sank against the door jam, her nails digging into the wood.
"Dru, take Willow and get out of here," Spike barked.
"Wait a second. Wait," Willow yelled as Spike rounded on her and she turned to Drusilla. "Dru? What's happened?"
"Daddy's gone." She reached for Willow and Angel intercepted her hand, grabbing her and twisting her away from the redhead. "Gone," she moaned as she went limp against him. "He reeks of goodness."
"It's not just amnesia?" whispered Willow as Drusilla slid to her knees, head bowed.
Angel glanced down at the vampiress at his feet, then quickly released her and wiped his hand nervously on his thigh as his eyes went from Spike to Willow to Dru and back again. "I want answers, now," he finally stated, his voice clipped and high with anxiety.
"I'm not sure we can give them to you."
"What do you mean it's not just amnesia, luv?" Spike asked over his shoulder, but not looking back at his wife.
"If it was just amnesia he'd be slaughtering me, right?"
"Which is why I want you the hell away from here."
Willow's voice rose in exasperation and she pushed herself around Spike. "Does he look like he's going to slaughter anyone?"
"Slaughter? Why on Earth would I...I would never hurt you, Willow."
Spike's fists fell in surprise. "Huh?"
"Angel, when you got your soul back, how long did it take before the memories of what your demon had done returned?"
He gave her an uncomfortable look but finally answered. "Not long, fifteen, twenty minutes."
"How long have you been awake?"
"At least that. Willow, what are you saying?"
Ignoring his question, Willow dropped to her knees next to Drusilla and, cradling the still crying baby on one shoulder, she reached out to touch the weeping vampiress with her free hand. Drusilla stilled and looked up, tears shining in his eyes. "Dru? Daddy's Angelus, right?" Drusilla nodded. "And he's gone...right?" Another nod, and Willow rose again to turn to her husband. "Find Buffy."
Knowledge was slowly dawning and a look of horror crossed Spike's face. "His soul?"
"I think so. Bring Giles, too."
"I don't want to leave you with him." The look of devotion and fear on his face made her smile gently and stroke his cheek.
"I'm safe with him."
With an unwilling nod, Spike shot a hard glare at his sire, then left the room.
"Dru, sweetie, go find Amelia to tend to you."
"Bring him back, Willow," the broken vampiress begged as she struggled to her feet on unsteady legs. "I cannot bear it." Finally she left and Willow gestured to the sofa.
"I can see how confused you are." Angel slowly shook his head and slumped onto the couch, burying his face in his trembling hands. "What's going on, Willow? Why are you here, with Spike and...Why haven't they killed you? You're not a vampire but...There's something." He looked up at her from confused and hurting eyes and Willow swallowed hard and joined him on the couch. Conor had cried himself back to sleep and she lay him across her lap, cradling his head in the crook of her elbow.
Once she had him settled, she reached up to the collar around her neck and pulled it aside to reveal the bitemarks from the night before, still red and sore.
"Oh my god, Willow..."
"Spike and I are bound. Do you know what that means?"
"Dimly. It's a legend. I used to jokingly remind him that unless he was going to turn her he should never bite a woman during..." He broke off again and stared at her, stunned.
Willow blushed and dropped her eyes. "He never was very good at listening to you."
"I'm sorry, Willow. This must be horrible for you. I've read accounts...Did he...did he rape you?"
"Huh? Oh, no, no, Angel. You've got it wrong. Spike and I are lovers, in love. In fact, we're married." She flashed her ring at him before continuing gently. "A lot more time has passed than you realize. Buffy's seventeenth birthday wasn't yesterday. You seem to have some kind of partial amnesia that's wiped out the last several years."
"Years?"
"Four."
He gaped at her, then finally nodded. "I can see it. Your face. You've grown up."
"I'm a wife and mother."
Angel's eyes fell to the baby. "Yours?"
She shook her head. "No. My daughter, Rose, is with her nanny at the park. This is your son. Yours and Buffy's."
"Vampires can't have children," he swallowed heavily.
"Well, no, they can't, but in every way but physically he's your child. You held him as the midwife cut the cord, named him, was the first thing he saw."
"...What's his name?"
"Conor Fitzhugh Summers."
"Fitzhugh....That's my surname. Are Buffy and I married?"
Willow slowly shook her head, thinking quickly about how much and what to reveal and praying that Spike found Buffy quickly. "No. Angel, I know you have tons of questions but I really think we should wait for Buffy. If you could watch the baby for a few minutes, I can get dressed and check on Drusilla."
"We all live here together?"
"There are reasons." Carefully she slipped Conor from her lap and onto the sofa, then rose to her feet, hesitating for a moment before turning towards the door. "I'm just across the hall." Her last view of Angel was him leaning down to look at his son, then she slipped out the door.
*****
Spike burst in the backdoor of the Magic Box and nearly barreled over Buffy.
"Watch it, blondie," she snapped, ducking as Giles threw another knife at her. It barely missed Spike as he whirled around her, his duster snapping against his legs. "And the shirtless fashion look is so out."
He hadn't bothered to dress, just grabbed his duster and jammed his feet into his unlaced doc martins. "We've got trouble. Big trouble."
Giles lowered the knife he'd raised to aim at the Slayer and pushed his glasses up his nose. "What?"
"Dunno really. Angelus is acting all...not Angelus. Willow thinks..." He stopped, swallowing hard as the implications he'd been denying finally hit, choking him. "Shit, Slayer, his soul's back."
Buffy paled violently and staggered back a step.
"How?" Giles demanded, dumping the knife on a table and stalking towards the vampire. "Are you sure?"
"He smelled different. Smelled like...good. Yeah, oh fuck, it's back." Spike shook his head in dismay and disgust as from behind him came a slowly building wail. He turned just in time to catch the Slayer as she flung herself at him, pounding on him, screaming the word 'no'. Wrapping his arms around her, Spike tried to soothe her as she broke down in sobs.
*****
Dressed in a simple green wrap dress and sandals, Willow stood before her mirror running a brush through her long hair. Her thoughts were in turmoil as she tried to make sense of what was happening. Finally, she set down the brush and took a deep, shaky breath.
As she left her suite to find Drusilla, she tried not to think about how badly Buffy was probably taking the news.
The door to Amelia's room was open and from within she could hear Drusilla weeping. The sound always broke Willow's heart--it was so completely human. Swallowing down her own instinctive tears, she pushed the door open wider and stepped inside.
Drusilla was sprawled across the bed, her head in Amelia's lap, as her childe gently stroked her trembling shoulders and murmured nonsensical yet soothing words.
"Is it true?" Amelia asked, looking up as Willow entered. "Has grandpapa been cursed again?"
"I don't know how it happened but it's obvious his soul is back. So far he doesn't remember anything since he lost it four years ago."
As Willow spoke, Drusilla lifted her head and blinked away tears from red-rimmed eyes. Her face was ravaged by grief. "This is bad, so bad. Everything we've worked for could be at risk. The Slayer...she will break."
"Buffy's stronger than that," Willow stressed, but personally she had her own doubts. One of the things Buffy was most adamant about was that she didn't want Angel to get his soul back. She couldn't face him with the knowledge of all they had done together while he was soulless.
Mentally shaking herself, Willow leaned down and pressed a kiss to Drusilla's forehead. "We'll get through this, Dru. It's just one more obstacle."
"He doesn't love me anymore," the vampiress moaned softly before burying her face again and resuming her weeping.
Amelia spoke softly, her voice distant and lost, "Without his love, she will shrivel like a dying flower."
"That won't happen. We won't let it." With those firmly spoken words, Willow left the room and headed back to Angel.
*****
As Buffy's wails and denials turned to choked sobs, Spike guided her over to a couch and sat down, letting her curl on his lap. She buried her wet face in his neck, getting salty tears all over his leather duster, but he didn't mind. At the moment, she reminded him so much of Drusilla. Looking up, he saw the Watcher pacing and watching him closely. The man still had a natural distrust of vampires.
Probably a good thing someone in their odd little family did.
"So, there's no indication why this happened?" Giles asked, still pacing.
"None. Willow found him and came to get me."
"He can't be gone, he can't," Buffy wept, her voice hoarse from screaming. Her fingers clenched around Spike's shoulders and her whole body shook.
"Buffy, you must stop this, please." Giles tugged nervously on his tie and gave her an uncomfortable look. "You'll only make yourself ill."
"So?" Her voice rose in hysteria. "I can't face him! I can't. It'll kill me!"
Frowning, Spike shook her gently. "Slayer, stop it. Angel may be a self-righteous prat, but he loves you completely. You'll get through this."
Slowly Buffy lifted her head and sniffled a couple of times before sliding from Spike's lap onto shaky legs. "You don't understand," she began, her pain ravaging her voice. "He loves me, but I don't know if I love him."
*****
Willow walked quietly back into Angel's suite and found him standing in front of a Goya. A glance showed her Conor still slept, so she joined Angel in front of the painting.
"This was Darla's."
"I've always found it highly disturbing," Willow replied, trying to inject a bit of levity into an incredibly tense situation.
Angel didn't smile, just sighed softly. "Are you going to explain any of this?"
"We need to wait for Buffy and Giles. I can only imagine what you're going through, Angel."
"I'm missing four years of my life and apparently at least several life changing events happened during those years." He turned to face the redhead. "This building is crawling with vampires, and many, too many, are...familiar."
She nodded solemnly.
"Why aren't you dead? Why aren't you afraid?"
"The bond, for one thing. Spike publically claimed me and while some of the idiots here have challenged him, they've never gone through me because you'd do really nasty things to them."
"And Buffy? She lives here surrounded by vampires? Why hasn't she staked them all? Why has she allowed Spike and Dru to live?"
"Angel, please...stop asking questions. If I start answering them, it'll just come out as a big babble." A knock on the door saved her from protesting further and she went to answer it. Her nanny, a passing demon named Nanette stood there, a sleeping Rose in her arms.
"We're back from the park. The little one wore herself out."
Willow smiled at her sleeping daughter. "Can you take Conor with you and put him down with Rose?"
"Certainly, Mrs. Addington." Stretching out one of her malleable arms, she gently picked up the baby and cradled him to her other shoulder before heading across the hallway to Willow's suite.
"You have a demon nanny."
"A good demon." Again they were interrupted, this time by Willow's cell phone, which she pulled from her pocket and flipped open. "Hello?"
Spike was on the other end. "We're on our way home."
"How is she?" Willow turned slightly away and lowered her voice.
"Broken into little pieces," he replied compassionately. "Can you take him down to the throne room? Buffy doesn't want to see him in the intimacy of their suite."
"Sure."
"Love you."
"Love you, too." Hanging up, she turned to face a curious but politely restrained Angel.
"They're on their way. Let's go downstairs to meet them." She opened the door and waited for him to follow her.
"Where are we?"
"Still in Sunnydale, in a formerly abandoned mansion that you took over and eventually purchased."
"How can I afford a mansion?"
"I'm a financial wiz."
They started down the stairs, at the bottom of which waited their majordomo at attention, wearing an old fashioned butler's suit with starched cuffs and collar. He was in human form in the event any humans stopped by. He bowed slightly as Angel passed, making the master of Sunnydale nearly stumble over his feet.
Willow took his arm and guided him into the throne room.
"Is that a throne?" Angel choked out.
"Yeah."
Avoiding the red velvet chair on the raised dais, he wandered over to the French doors and gazed a bit sadly into the gardens. Finally, he turned to face Willow, his shoulders slumping. "Every vampire in this house is an Aurelian. I'm their master, aren't I."
It wasn't a question, but Willow nodded.
"I took the clan away from Spike."
"Yeah."
A look of desperation crossed his face. "Willow, I need to know. Do I still fight on the side of good?"
Willow's smile was a bit sad, but she nodded again. "We saved the world, Angel, the five of us. You and Buffy, me and Spike, and Dru."
The sound of the front door opening and closing saved her from explaining further, and they both turned to face the entrance to the massive room.
Spike entered first, a disturbed look on his face, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his duster making his shoulders sag. Giles followed, his eyes hard, his face expressionless. The last one to enter the room, hesitantly, her eyes on the floor, was Buffy.
Never taking her eyes from her best friend, Willow moved to her husband's side, relaxing against him as he slipped a comforting arm around her waist. Buffy stopped several feet from Angel and slowly looked up at him. Their eyes met and held for a long, silent moment, and for a moment Willow thought the Slayer would shatter, but then her back stiffened and her chin went up and the tears in the corners of her eyes remained there, glistening but held.
"Buffy...Buffy, what's going on?"
The desperation in Angel's voice made Willow want to cry but her eyes remained focused on Buffy, who didn't respond, didn't react, simply continued to stare, until finally, a small whisper came from her. "I can't find him." Two glistening tears began to slide slowly down her pale cheeks and Willow's heart broke.
Angel turned to Giles, exasperation written all over his face. "Giles, what is going on? Willow won't tell me anything. We're surrounded by vampires. Willow and Spike..." He broke off, shaking his head.
"Is the last thing you remember before awakening still the night of Buffy's birthday?" Giles asked, slipping into Watcher mode with ease.
"Yes."
"And you awakened nearly an hour ago?"
"Yes."
"And your demon is suppressed?"
"Of course. I mean, it's there, always there, but I'm in control."
"Four years have passed since Buffy's seventeenth birthday."
"So I've been told. Why am I missing my memories and what has happened in the interim." Angel's eyes swept the room, touching lightly on Buffy who remained standing still in the center of the room, staring at him. "Obviously, quite a lot."
Giles sighed heavily and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "This is going to be difficult. I don't know why the memories are missing. It would be so much easier if they weren't." He ignored the choked gasp from his Slayer and continued, "Angel, on the night of Buffy's seventeenth birthday you experienced a moment of pure happiness and lost your soul due to a rather stupid clause in the curse. You have been soulless, your demon in charge, for the last four years."
Angel physically staggered, shock and horror warring on his face, his eyes stricken. He turned them to Buffy and saw her crying, and confusion settled over him. "I don't understand."
"You were Angelus," Spike snapped.
"I get that," Angel snapped back. "And the clan, you and Drusilla being here, that makes sense then, but...Buffy..."
"I need to speak to Angel alone," Buffy whispered, her voice strangled with emotion.
"Are you sure, Slayer?"
Her eyes flickered to Spike and she nodded. "There are things I have to say that I can't say to anyone but him."
"We'll be right outside if you need us," Willow said sympathetically, guiding her husband to the door.
"I, too, will remain." As Giles passed Buffy, he lightly squeezed her shoulder and she flashed him a look of deep gratitude.
As the door closed behind the three departing, the Slayer and the Master of Sunnydale faced each other with trepidation.
After a long moment, Buffy took a step towards Angel and lifted her eyes to his. Another moment passed and she murmured, "I'd forgotten what your eyes looked like."
Angel's brow furrowed in even more confusion and he opened his mouth to speak, then shook his head and closed it again.
"Ask your question, Angel."
"I...I don't understand why you're here. Why you're here...with me."
"I love you. I've always loved you," was her simple answer.
"The demon, it can't...there's nothing of love there." He shook his head in denial again. "It can't love."
"So we thought." A fresh sorrow flooded her and her lower lip began to tremble.
"I thought maybe you were a prisoner," he replied faintly.
"Maybe once, but, no. We got past that. Angel, your demon...Spike thought it was cracked a bit, maddened by the soul in charge for a hundred years, but I think having the soul softened the demon. Not at first. At first..." Unable to look into his soulful eyes any longer, she dropped hers and her arms went around herself in her typical, defensive pose. "You were evil. You...hurt me."
"I can see that. I often feared what would happen if I lost control of the demon. It's one reason I was so hesitant to become involved with you. I didn't want to hurt you."
Buffy took a deep, shaky breath, and continued, "For the first couple of weeks, we fought, you trying to kill me, I...well, trying to find you, Angel, inside. You were cruel and hateful, and I broke. I blamed myself for freeing the demon and you, he, god this is confusing, made sure to rub it in."
"And, then, on Valentine's Day..." Her voice breaking, she turned and wandered over to a sofa, slumping on it and waiting for him to inevitably join her.
When he did, sitting stiffly beside her, she softly continued, "I was so lonely, and I thought, maybe I could find a bit of you in there if I let you..." She straightened her back and gripped her hands together in her lap. "I was wrong. You were gone, but your body, your touch, they could still make me burn." Stealing a quick glance sideways at him, she winced at the shattered look on his face, and found the strength to get it all out in a rush. "We started having sex, lots of sex, and it wasn't nice and pretty and sweet, and it wasn't like our first time, but it was passionate and hot and I needed it. I was caught in a web created by a master seducer and after a while I didn't want to get free. I thought I'd die there in your arms. I kept waiting for it. And then...then things began to change."
A moment of silence fell as she gathered her thoughts, and Angel broke into them, his voice hoarse with emotion. "How?"
"You realized you didn't want me dead or broken and so you started being nicer to me," was the simple answer. "It took us a year, but right around the time of my eighteenth birthday, you realized you loved me."
"I don't believe that. I know the demon. I know it intimately. For one hundred and fifty years it never loved."
"It never knew me. I would have stayed with you, Angel, but I never would have had a child with you or allowed my best friend to live here with you, if I didn't believe completely that your demon loves me." As she spoke, conviction filled her and her voice grew stronger, and she turned slightly to face him. There was still horror and shock on his face and in his eyes, but there was also growing acceptance. "It hasn't been easy, but then love shouldn't be. I made a life, a good one, with Angelus. I love him."
"...And what about me?"
Tears sparkled in her eyes again, and she shook her head. "I don't know. I never...I never wanted you back. I thought telling you this, having you know what I'd done and what I'd become, would be too hard." Buffy blinked away the tears. "But, it's not, because I'm not ashamed. I survived and I built a great love, and I conquered the Master of Aurelius. Together we keep the underworld here in line and the Hellmouth closed."
"The Hellmouth is closed?"
"Long story. So, still no memories?"
Angel shook his head, then rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm just...numb."
"I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you to accept."
"Buffy, I can't tell you how grateful I am that you survived, but...yeah, it is difficult for me to understand all this. The thought of my demon being free, terrorizing everyone...you...and then..." Again, he shook his head. "All because we made love?"
"Perfect happiness," she replied sadly. "I lost you because I made you so happy. I've learned to live with that."
"That doesn't make any sense."
Buffy snorted lightly. "Tell me about it."
"For a hundred years I've lived with the memories of everything the demon did. All the brutality and deaths and...torture and..." His voice died away for a moment, "rape. The thought that it's been back, doing the same things, doing them to you..." Angel pressed his fists to his temple and took a deep, shuddering breath. "You glossed over all the details but I can imagine. God help me, I can imagine."
"I survived," was her strong reply. "I grew up. Maybe not into what I would have become if you hadn't lost your soul or I hadn't become involved with your demon, but I'm happy with the person I've become."
Angel's response was laden with pain and wasn't a question. "I hurt you."
"Yeah."
"And you don't want to tell me any details."
"No. Angel, I don't want to hurt you. For four years I've been afraid of this day, of having to face you and try to explain how I can love your demon. An hour ago I broke down all over Spike, panicking at seeing you. But now that we're here, it's kind of freeing. But, you don't need to know the details. If you get the demon's memories back, I just hope you won't be disgusted."
"I could never...I love you. I always knew you had it in you to survive the very worst. I just never expected that to be me."
The sorrow in his voice led Buffy to reach out and take one of his hands, uncurling the fist and knotting their fingers together. "It feels the same," she said softly. "This is why, Angel. Why I let the demon touch me. It's just the personality that's different. He looked like you and I loved you so much."
"And you were very young, too young to deal with any of that."
"Yeah, we all were, but this is the Hellmouth and, once you know the truth about what goes bump in the night, you grow up fast."
"Willow."
"Yeah, that was a shock, but as I watched her and Spike fall in love, it showed me that some demons are more than just pure evil, and it gave me hope."
"And they're married? What about Drusilla?"
"When Willow and Spike bonded, Drusilla got invited into it. All that vampire formal ritual stuff. Willow and Dru are actually weirdly close, and they're pretty much a threesome." She nearly smiled when Angel's jaw dropped. "The five of us are bonded as well." As she spoke, she drew aside the front of her shirt, revealing the brand. "You have one as well. We all got it when we closed the Hellmouth. The whole thing drew your family here. Penn and Nick and several others. We can talk more about that later, just don't be surprised who you find in this house, and remember, you're the Master."
"Something I never wanted to be."
"I'm not sure you really want to be it now, but you're really good at it. Most of the vampires here no longer kill--you don't, or if you do, you sure as hell don't let me know about it. I turn a blind eye to some things, more things than a good Slayer should, but then together we keep control of the underworld here in Sunnydale and pretty much all of Southern California."
"So...what happens now?"
"I'm not sure. I'm betting Giles has several working theories going. I guess we figure out what happened."
"And do you want to reverse it?" Angel asked shrewdly.
Buffy felt herself flush and slowly drew her hand from his. "I don't want to hurt you, Angel, but...I don't know if I love you anymore. I've made a life and a family with Angelus, and I'm madly in love with him. And I don't know what this change does to the bond between the five of us or your position as Master here. Conor will love you regardless, but we're not married. I don't know if I should stay here."
"This is your home. I don't want to force you out."
She nodded slowly and sighed softly. "I don't think we should tell the minions the truth yet. I'm sure the word's spread amongst the family."
"I don't know how I'm going to face them. I created monsters, who in turn created more monsters."
"They're much more than that."
"I can't believe you're saying things like that," he said slowly, trying to understand. "Defending them. A Slayer should see only black and white."
"No, that's what gets Slayers killed. I live in a world of gray and I live," Buffy stressed. "Look, let me go get everyone back in here. We need to figure out what to do, if there's anything to do." At his nod, she rose and went to the door. Hovering outside were Giles, Willow and Spike. Drusilla had joined them, leaning against Spike looking wan and broken. "Can you guys come back in? We need to figure out how this happened."
"Are you all right, Buffy?" Giles asked, brow furrowed in concern.
She gave him a small smile. "I'm okay. Holding it together." Pushing the door open wider, she led the way back into the throne room. Spike closed the door behind them, shutting out all interruptions. The couch where Angel sat was in a small grouping of seats, enough for everyone. Spike sat on the opposite loveseat, cradling Drusilla against him, while his wife took a chair on his other side and took his free hand. Buffy returned to the sofa, and Giles was the last to sit, looking decidedly concerned.
"Buffy has filled me in to an extent," Angel began slowly. "Four years of my demon in control." He shook his head, still a bit dazed by the truth. "And you all survived."
"Was never really a question for me and Dru. You were a bit pissed about me trying to kill you to bring her back to health, but we worked that out."
"I'm the Master of Aurelius."
"Yeah, something I never really wanted to be." Spike shrugged. "I was always better as your second."
"And you are again?"
Spike nodded, his bold eyes meeting the shifting ones of his sire. "Once you found out I could walk again, could hold my own against any challenges, you reclaimed me." At Angel's look of surprise and glances to the humans surrounding them, Spike smirked. "Mate, everyone here knows. Not many secrets left between us since the bond, and the Watcher isn't stupid."
Angel turned to Buffy. "And you're okay with that?"
"I learned to be. It took me awhile to accept how sexual vampires are, and that between them it's not always about sex, but more of control, discipline and dominance. But, with your childer, it's usually about sex. I don't mind because I know you--he--loves me the most."
"I never loved any of them."
"But, you do," Drusilla finally spoke, her voice tremulous and soft. "It was a miracle." Her hand went to her breast where, beneath the velvet lay the brand that marked them all. "The Hellmouth made us all love."
"And I'm not totally convinced you didn't love us all back in the day, either," Spike added. "Not that you would ever have admitted it."
Giles changed the subject with a simple question. "Still no memories of the last four years?"
"No, and that's bothering me. Everything came to me so quickly a hundred years ago. It's like there's something deliberately holding them back."
"I know a few psychics who might be able to help."
"Yeah, maybe." Angel gave Giles a troubled look. "Although I'm not sure I want those memories back."
"It would make it easier to deal with the present."
Angel met Buffy's eyes for a moment, then stared down at his hands clasped around his knees. "I'm not sure about that either."
"Well, we need to determine how this happened. If a spell was cast, who did it and why. Four years ago Jenny spent a brief time researching resouling you but the original spell her clan used seems to have been lost over the ensuing century, and then Buffy asked us to stop looking."
Angel's eyes shot back up to Buffy's guilty face. "Why?"
"I didn't think...I really didn't think I could bear to face you."
"But...you are."
"Yeah. Maybe I'm stronger than I always thought."
"You are," Willow said, encouraging her best friend who smiled back at her.
Buffy turned to Angel and took one of his hands, forcing him to look at her. "And I'm sorry, Angel, because I don't want to hurt you, but I love him more than anything in the world, even more than my son, if only by a hair, and I just...I just don't feel the same for you. I'm glad I had this chance to talk to you, to explain. I've pictured this talk for years, worrying and stewing about it. It's not as hard as I thought, even though I can see how hard it is for you." She squeezed his hand gently and saw the sorrow in his eyes as he realized the truth before she spoke it. "I want him back."
Angel shuddered, shaking himself like a big, wet dog, and a proud grin formed on his face. Before anyone could ask what was going on, he wrapped his arms around Buffy's waist and yanked her onto his lap. "That's all I needed to know, babe," he growled before kissing her passionately.
When he let her up for air after a minute, Buffy gasped dazedly, "Angel?"
"Demon and all."
"What the hell?!" Buffy hit him in the shoulder and scrambled off his lap. "What the hell was that?!"
"Daddy!"
Buffy rolled her eyes and balled her hand up into a fist. Angel caught it before it could reach his chin, laughing in delight at her anger.
"I gotta echo the Slayer," Spike snarled. "What the hell was that?"
Pulling away from Angel, Buffy jumped to her feet, arms across her chest, foot tapping in frustration. "Talk buster."
"For four years you've moped and worried and even whined on occasion about how soulboy wouldn't be able to handle you craving the demon, to put it politely." He ignored Buffy's snarl at his affected mimicry of her and continued, "You regularly beat yourself up over it and I got tired of you spending all the time worrying over the self-righteous prig, so I talked to a sorcerer I know."
"You had a spell put on you to restore your soul?" Giles interjected, stunned.
"Until Buffy said one of about twenty-five phrases or forty-eight hours passed."
"Idiot," Spike muttered, shaking his head in amazement. "And what if the Slayer had decided she wanted him." Angel gave him a look and Spike shot his eyes to the ceiling. "Didn't think about that being a possibility, did you."
"Yes, but I knew it wouldn't happen that way because I know her way better than she knows herself."
"Then you probably know that I'm going to kick your ass!"
Angel grinned up at her. "Can't wait."
Willow threw her hands up in disgust and rose to her feet. "I have so many more important things to do than deal with this." As she stomped towards the door, Giles rose as well.
"I'm interested in meeting this sorcerer."
"So you can get your hands on the resouling spell?" Angel shot him a knowing look, a wolfish grin on his face. "I don't think so, Watcher."
"It would be handy to have around if you ever got out of Buffy's control."
The grin vanished and the eyes narrowed and Giles smirked back and followed Willow out the door.
"One day he's going to step over the line..."
"And you'll do absolutely nothing to him," Buffy shot back, knowing it was true.
"How about I just beat your ass every time he does."
"How about you KISS my ass for pulling this stunt?!" And she stormed after her best friend and Watcher.
Spike pulled a lazy and contented Drusilla to her feet. "It was quite a stunt. Worried the hell out of me." His smile faded and he waited for Angel to rise in front of him.
"Thought I left you, Will?" The almost tender quality in Angel's voice, brought the smile back.
"Yeah," he could admit.
Leaning down, Angel kissed him softly, then turned and brushed his lips over Drusilla's as well. "Not ever going to happen again."
"Good." It was a short answer, but their eyes spoke volumes. "Come on, Dru. Let's go tell the family daddy's back for good."
"Can we have a party?"
"Sure, why not." Spike led her across the room and out the door as well, leaving Angel alone with his thoughts.
That familiar and dangerous and yet happy smirk crossed his face and he moved over to his throne to sprawl across it. Buffy was mad now, but it wouldn't last--it never did. The family would forgive him. They'd throw a big bash with ample amounts of booze and sex and everyone would be happy. The Watcher could be controlled, even if he didn't know it. And, Willow was Willow, the lovely thorn in his side who kept him on his toes when Buffy didn't.
It was good to be the king.
End